Chapter 20 examines leadership from a historical and technical perspective. It is helpful to understand the transitions of leadership in the context of a paradigm. The transitions of leadership theory paradigm have all been unique to our society, throughout the generations. We are fortunate to be entering a career field which utilizes the collaborate paradigm. This means that we can apply the principles of leadership in creative ways. We have all been very busy this semester, and we could really use a coffee break. So I am going to be bold and lead us in a collaborative discussion to relax and interact. We all must admit that we have a favorite beverage at Starbucks, for this blog let’s share this with each other. I will start the discussion by telling you that I order hot green tea every day. Trust me, when I fall asleep at the library reading, I resort to coffee. Please allow me to lead us in a collaborative discussion, and share your favorite Starbucks creation. I invite you to join me in a virtual coffee social!
What's up party people?! Chapter 22 is right up our alley. It is all about counseling students and being a "helper". It covers what traits are necessary for someone to be a helping individual and assist the student(helpee) with their issue. Rogers on pg.486 identifies 3 main components of a helping professionals which he deemed extremely important: Genuineness, unconditional positive regard (acceptance) and accurate empathatic understanding. Please identify which trait you feel is a strength and possibly which one you may to need to improve. Also, if you want to share an experience working with a student in which you made use of these traits that would be awesome!
Mark, I am not a huge coffee drinker, usually prefer diet coke. But when I do hit starbucks I get a grande coffee with vanilla cream and a lil sugar.
To answer my own question I feel like i have developed in all three areas and have strengths in each. Working with students through the admissions process requires one to utilize these compnents all the time with a wide variety of situations such as admitted students or a student who may be falling short or is denied. I have always prided myself on being "real" as the book says. If you shoot people straight and don't have any angles, you will see much more response and openness from the student.
I love it Mark! I am addicted to coffee and despite my Dunkin’ Donuts cup I am frequently seen with, I never have that brand of coffee in there. I prefer Starbucks. I have actually cut back in the past year because it drains my bank account, but I will give you my top drinks of choice.
1. Grande Iced Green Tea Soy Latte 2. Grande Iced Café Americano (no room) 3. Grande Iced Carmel Macchiato
And for the season I enjoy a nice Pumpkin Spice Latte. ☺
So I’ve been thinking about which of the traits is my strength and which I feel I need to improve on, but I feel as though they all go hand in hand. I would like to believe I excel in all three, so I am going to try and rank them. I would say most of all I am genuine and have empathetic understanding, shortly followed by an unconditional positive regard. I care for everyone I am trying to help and put his or her needs first. The person being helped needs to feel comfortable with you in order to make any progress.
Chapter 20: Hmmm, I think my favorite Starbucks drink is a hot Chai Tea Latte because it tastes great and gives me energy to be a leader (well, sometimes)!
Chapter 22: The counseling and advising chapters could not have come at a more perfect time. Many of the students I advise have recently started opening up more and coming in to talk about various problems they're having. While talking to them, I am constantly questioning whether or not I'm telling them the right thing, if my biases are influencing what I'm saying to them, etc. The readings helped clarify what I'm doing right and gave some suggestions as to what else I can do to help them.
To answer Aaron's question, I would say I am definitely genuine. I truly care about students and believe each of them has the abilities and strength necessary to be successful. I try my best for that to come across in our discussions. The one I may struggle with a bit is accurate empathic understanding. Many of my students come from vastly different backgrounds than myself so it's just taking a little bit longer for me to get to know their history and navigate that based on my knowledge and experiences. With time, I know I'll get there though.
Chapter 23 is about advising and consultation and Patrick Love identifies skills and competencies of advising as well as some issues in advising. Advising students is something with which almost all of us have experience, and if not we've all likely been in an organization that was advised by someone. Drawing on these experiences, which skill or competency have you found to be the most important when advising students? In addition, which issue (or issues) has been the most central in your advising experience and how did you work with that issue? You're all amazing, I'm excited to hear your answers!
1. My favorite drink at Starbucks is a sweetened passion tea lemonade or white mocha, but I'll usually get a iced hazelnut coffee with milk (Justin-I also feel the financial pain of Starbucks addictions).
2. Right now, I think that empathetic understanding is a weakness of mine that I need to develop. USF is so diverse, that many students' backgrounds are unfamiliar or different to me, but as time goes on, I am becoming more exposed to different sides of USF (even after 4 years).
3. The issue in advising that I see most often is unpreparedness, but more broadly defined than by Love. The students I work with are generally highly motivated, have good GPAs & have a broad understanding of their next step after USF. For these reasons, they come to ONS to find out how to apply for scholarships & awards. However, I feel that after they come to our office, they start to feel unprepared because their credentials are the standard for these awards and not the exception. One of the biggest issues I have encountered is that students are unprepared for life after graduation. They have a vague idea but do not know more specifically what they want to study, what career goals they want, etc. This unpreparedness is detrimental for their award applications because they are often being judged on what they anticipate being in 5, 10, 15 years, not on what they are accomplishing right now.
1) Mark, I love a good chai tea latte (hot or cold depending on the weather outside).
2) I think I have a nack for unconditional positive regard. I try to find the positives in every situation and use that as I meet with the students I advise. Many people come to the TRAC office with bad experiences where they didn't get accepted into a selective major or have been asked to fins a new major after not meeting GPA requirements. I try to help students see this as a positive thing, a way to redirect your studies before you are in over your head. By being positive about this with them, it can help ease the tension and make the student realize that there are other options out there.
3. One of the biggest skills I utilize with the students I advise is problem solving. With the same student populaton I mentioned above, I need to help students solve their problem of which new major is best for them. This means, working with the student to realize end goals, strengths and interests, and referring students to places like the career center.
One of the bigger challenges is that students are underprepared. A lot of times these students face the problem of switching a major because they were underprepared in certain classes or previous education. The sad thing is that many students will aslo admit the underpreparedness was something they could have worked harder at - sought out tutoring or talked with the profesor, etc. They can't go back and change things now that it is over and so they have to deal with those consequences.
Ch. 20: Mmmm, coffee. I actually DO prefer Dunkin Doughnuts (Justin! :D) and I usually get an Iced Coconut Latte, SO GOOD. I’d like to implement a page out of Greenleaf’s book, “The Servant as Leader,” by leading by persuasion, rather than coercion. So, I’m not gonna force you try DD, but here are some of my arguments (that will, all the while, “create opportunities and alternatives” for you): Why DD is Superior to Starbucks: -The DD establishment offers more flavor options -The DD establishment won’t break the bank -The DD establishment frequently offers free/discounts on many items -The DD establishment has items that are SPRINKLED. -“AMERICA runs on Dunkin.” Need I say more? Ah, but to hold true to the essence of the servant leader, I must recognize that the first step to changing the world is to change oneself—so, I suppose Starbuck’s Passion Iced Teas are excellentee, too :) Ch. 21: Rogers’ 3 personal characteristics can probably be summed up into the modern notion of “judging”. No one likes to feel that they are being judged, and hopefully no one takes personal pride in being known for judging others. Ultimately, to help others, Roger’s conditions suggest that helpers should be careful not to impose their values or communicate disrespect or disapproval of the helpee’s values. I like to work hard to instill that sense of comfort in my students that no one is wrong for feeling or believing a certain way, so all three characteristics come into play. These points should be kept in mind, not just in our profession, but in extension, to the way we conduct ourselves in our daily lives with others. Ch.22: In my advising experience, I have found that one of the central issues I face is “Problem Identification”. Often, as a problem surfaces, a student will not admit, either intentionally or unintentionally, to the root of the problem. Some detective work alongside trust-building will usually expose the real source of a problem, such as trouble with time management, high expectations, or unclear responsibilities.
1. I refuse to use Starbucks lingo so this is usually my order: "Gimme one of those large-sized white chocolate drinks, with some ice" Great question, love it Mark.
2. Like Aaron, I'd say that I have certain qualities in each of Rogers' characteristics that I would consider strengths, but I certainly have a clear rank for the characteristics. My greatest strength is genuineness. I have a few simple rules in life, one of which is what I like to call, keeping it real. I ask for honesty and truth in all that I do - from friends, family, colleagues, etc. - and I give the same expectation to those around me.
I could probably use a little work in accurate empathic understanding. This type of understanding comes from truly listening and trying to visualize what a person is sharing with you. While I've had some professional development experiences to help me grow in this regard, it is something that I need to continue to practices.
I seldom go to Starbucks because I am not one to drink coffee or drink any type of espresso. However, last week during our midterms was the first time I ever had coffee of any sort because of how tired I was from staying up late studying. I got some basic coffee from Starbucks, which kept me up and allowed me to continue to study throughout those late nights.
Chapter 21:
The trait that I feel is my strength is my genuineness. I say this because I truly care about students and their needs. I like to be as transparent as possible and be as realistic as I can to students. I feel that me being this way allows students to feel more comfortable and open to advice. One of the traits in which I feel I need to improve upon is having an accurate empathic understanding of others. I say this because I am still learning about people and their diverse backgrounds. The more experience I gain in this field will allow me to understand and cope with all types of students.
Oh, Mark! I love your approach. Too bad I'm not an avid Starbucks customer :/ However, if I did go often, I would get some form of a hot tea with a danish or cookie...whatever I'm in the mood for.
Aaron, your opening line for your discussion comment got me excited to write these responses. Anyways, in reference to the components of the helping relationship, my strongest area is in genuineness. When I've helped people get through a project, assignment or tough time, there have been many instances where people have thanked me for helping them get through it which speaks volumes to me. Those are the moments that tell me people know I'm genuine when I help. I truly give all that I have when I help people.
As I continue to get to know people at a deeper level, my skill in empathy will hopefully grow. In order to understand people, you have to know them. It takes time for that process to happen as it does for a lifetime. We're always learning something new about a person we know. In order to be an effective helper, you have to know how to help them which means "getting to know their style."
Caitlin, these are some heavy hitters :) With advising students, you need strong interpersonal skills. They need to know that you are interested and invested in them and that you can serve as a resource for them. Also, in practicing these skills, the hope could be that it rubs off on the students as well. It can help them get that new position or even lead another organization as well.
One issue that I have dealt with a lot within advising is the unpreparedness. There was one student that I advised who was not completing the tasks that needed to complete. It all came to poor scheduling on the student's end and the little preparation the student did beforehand. The habits didn't break, and it led to some tough calls which affected the student's involvement in the office. Though I tried to help the student schedule their week time after time, the message was not seeping through. I quickly learned that instances like those call for a reality check to happen.
I love Starbucks and actually have my favorite drink right next to me a White iced mocha!!
For Aaron's question I would have to agree 100% with Adrea's response, I am genuine, I really do care. Also like Andrea and Emily stated I may struggle with empathic understanding due to the vast backgrounds that come onto college campuses.
When I do splurge on a drink from Starbucks, it is more often than not on a chai tea latte.
I think interpersonal skills are the most important in any type of advising. Placing active listening, questioning, and referral skills in this category seems essential. I feel that a balance of the three would produce the most beneficial and successful sessions. An advisor needs not only to actively listen to the student(s), but also know the next steps to take. Having one without the other seems impersonal. I remember meeting a very knowledgeable advisor in undergrad but still feeling confused afterward because the active listening component was missing.
I’ll also have to admit that I fell victim to the example mentioned in the text regarding group motivation. It took some time to realize that my group was not at my level of motivation, or really, motivated at all. I quickly had to assess the situation and place more guidelines on the group, which has improved the way they approach their position.
Ohhh Starbucks! I could really go for a Grande nonfat caramel latte with two shots of espresso. Well…maybe not right now, but definitely when I get to work tomorrow. But that’s really complicated to order so I’ll keep making my coffee at home ;-) I'd actually say one of my biggest flaws is just wanting to be a "helper" I get frustrated when I can't help fix a problem, especially if it means more work for one of the students I work with. As far as the three traits listed in the book... I think genuineness is both something I do well and something I need to work on. I am honest to a fault and I will typically tell it exactly like it is. I need to work on turning that off a little bit and utilizing that unconditional positive regard quality, especially when my students make decisions I don’t agree with. I hope I’m good at the empathetic understanding. I think I use that one most often. I put out a lot of student government related fires at work, but I also hear a lot of “ugghh that test! I think I made a stupid mistake” and “I’ll get to it…I just have two exams this week and I don’t think they’re going to be easy” and I hope that the students I work with feel like I understand when they’re worried about those kinds of things.
20. Mark, you're cool. I'm not a Starbucks customer and I rarely drink coffee so if you see me with coffee it’s been a rough day! If I got coffee it would be a caramel latte with ice. 22. I have experienced each component of helping but I identify most with genuineness. For an example, showing support for my RAs outside of the walls of housing. Whether it be attending one of their rugby games or productions in the theatre. I want them to know that I care about their personal development within and outside of their jobs. Being emphatic is something I’m good at, however is something I can improve on. There are certain situations where you get to know a student on a long term basis so you understand their thought process over time. Then there crisis situations where a student needs assistance immediately. I think listening and being in tune with everything that is happening, even if it is happening quickly can make all the difference in the way I respond. 23. I also find unpreparedness to be a prominent issue with the students I work with. Last week during a one on a one, a student said “my high school prepared me to get to college, but not to succeed in college.” We had a long discussion about that and personal responsibility. There seems to be a trend of changing majors numerous times (which may not be uncommon) it just may seem excessive to me because I’m not used to that. Also, only having one option verses having an alternative plan for the future i.e. the Navy or applying to one graduate school. My RAs had to write down short term and long term goals, with bullet points of how and what they needed to do to reach them. I’ve noticed that things like having them submit and updating their resumes have motivated them. Many of the things that have to do with them individually has motivated them…I'm still learning the culture here. With RAs and students in general who decide to come to USF. So I think it's a continuous process of continuing to ask students what they're passionate about, what we can do as supervisors or advisors to assist.
Chapter 20: I enjoy a hot vanilla chai tea latte from Starbucks, but haven’t been able to enjoy a cup recently. I believe this calls for a Starbucks run. Thank you Mark!
Chapter 22: The trait I excel in is unconditional positive regard, showing the student or family member I am working with that I care and respect them. I realize that I am not perfect in any of these traits and will continually practice them to become a better helper.
Chapter 23: Problem solving skills are frequently put to use in the financial aid office, so are interpersonal skills. I use a combination of the two to understand the full picture of what the student or family member is asking. Like many others have mentioned, underpreparedness is an issue I see with students. Many of the students who come into our office have not read the emails sent by our office or checked OASIS for the status of their financial aid. We work with these students to educate them on the resources available to them and the importance of reading the information sent to them.
1. I actually do not drink coffee or soda. I am not sure if that makes me weird or not but it is true. I drink a lot of water and Gatorade. I’m also a sucker for chocolate milk.
2. The trait that is my strongest is “genuineness.” I say this because it really is who I am. With genuineness comes a sense of authenticity, realness, and substance. I like to think when people do business with me or interact with me that is what I bring to the table. I try my best to do this because I enjoy it when people are genuine with me and that builds better relationships with people.
I know I have to make improvements on “accurate empathetic understanding.” I do not say this because I am not accepting of people, but because it is one of the traits where I do not think it can be mastered or practiced. It is just opening up and realizing that not everybody will always be on the same page or agree with everything.
3. An advising issue I see a lot is “problem identification.” In Outdoor Recreation we do a lot of work with people and we have to do a lot of setting up before customers get there. This could be with a ropes course or fixing bikes. One thing I notice my staff has a tendency of doing is playing the blame game. Since there is so many of them they tend to blame each other for something going wrong or not doing something. It also does not help that there is so many of them because stories have gotten out of context and people will almost say anything to get themselves out of a situation, especially if the other person is not there to defend them self. I am right now just working with them to work on their maturity and start growing up and taking on responsibilities and following through with them.
I think have a well-developed sense of empathy. I oftentimes try to place myself in someone else’s shoes. This goes beyond just tolerating people. I try to see things from their perspective. To be honest this isn’t always out of a sense of kindness, though oftentimes it is. I believe that one can learn a lot from oneself, but more importantly one can learn a lot from others as well. When a person is willing to be empathetic not only does he or she help others by trying to understand them, but that individual helps themselves by broadening their horizons. All in all I think I have a genuine regard for of all these character traits. I suppose I could have some more unconditional positive regard because I can see aspects of life in their negative sense quite easily.
Mark, I feel like you may have stumped me on this one. I do not drink coffee at all, although I have been forced into going to Starbucks quite often. On the occasions of these treks I end up with a sparkling water and some type of sweet treat (the treat varies by mood, availability and product placement). I can verify that the pumpkin spice version smells great in spite of its foul taste. For chapter 22, I work hard to make sure that all of these three areas are strengths. I’ve spent years as a counselor and agree that genuineness (strange sounding word), understanding and empathy are critical to counseling success. I also know that I still need to improve all of these areas. I know that I don’t have all the answers, but I do have the willingness to keep honing my craft and working toward unattainable perfection. For an advising skill, problem identification is crucial. The surface problem is often not the one that is causing the most problems. We need to be aware of underlying issues and needs. I have been guilty of leaping at the quick solution when helping address issues. I am still trying to get past the first issue and making sure that I see the big picture for each student. Unpreparedness, as so many others mentioned is also a recurring theme. In financial aid, it usually presents itself as procrastination by the student. Problems that we could have resolved months earlier become crisis when the students have not sought help in a timely fashion.
I do like coffee but I don’t drink it very often but when I do I usually just drink black coffee with sugar. I don’t drink coffee from Starbucks but I always get a grande caramel cream frapp. It has no coffee (cream base). I kind of made it up like four years ago and I have been getting it ever since.
The traits that are necessary for someone to be a helping individual and in assisting students that I most identify with is unconditional positive regard. Basically, I genuinely care about my students regardless of whether or not I approve of their actions; I always approve of them. I always see potential for great success in all of my students. I advise them about what they should and shouldn’t do about specific issues and although sometimes they don’t listen, I must be supportive and always accept them as the individuals they are and just hope that they learn from their mistakes.
1. Even though starbucks is very overpriced I do splurge on it every once in awhile, but like Monica said it has to be a rough day for me. I like iced chai lattes on hot days, which is pretty much year round in Florida. Then I like skinny hazelnut lattes on cold days. Thanks Mark for this question! :)
2. Like most people in our class, I feel like I try to do a good job on all of these traits. I would probably need to improve on unconditional positive regard. With my sports and coaching background, I feel like it is embedded in me to only give compliments and positive regard when a person does something great. Then give constructive criticism or let a person make some mistakes without me always complimenting them and patting them on the back.
3. I think it is important to have interpersonal and problem solving skills like the book states. I also think it is important to be caring, a good listener, empathetic, etc. I haven't had enough advising roles to actually apply developmental and learning theory yet, so I don't find that to be as important, which might lead to issues.
Chapter 20: Mark, Starbucks is right up my ally! I am obviously drinking it right now, iced venti sugar free hazelnut with soy milk Chapter 22: I think that empathic understanding is one of the most important traits while advising students. It is important to not make them feel comfortable so that they open up to you with their issues and that you can provide them as much guidance and knowledge as possible. It is definitely a strength of mine to listen to others problems and understand that they have issues, but I can always work on understanding better. I feel like in our heads we all judge them and when a student has a minute issue, that they think is the end of the world we think “is this student really going through this right now” empathic understanding and having the ability to show the students we really understand and care about them, and are not judging them in anyway shows a great skill in advising and letting them open up to you. Chapter 23: I think one of the most important skills in advising students is to give them the tools to succeed on their own, and to not do everything for them. If students do not figure things out on their own, and make small mistakes then they will never learn. If we do everything for them they will never grow educationally, or professionally. It is important to know the difference between helping them to make the right decisions, and making the decisions for them. None of us want to see our students fail, but we also want to see them succeed on their own.
Chapter 20 - My Starbucks habit has drastically been cut since it's no longer part of an expense account...but I do enjoy a Chai Tea Latte (hot) and a Black Iced Tea Lemonade Sweetened with lite ice (actually drinking that as I type at Starbucks right now!) Great question, nice spin to the discussion!
Chapter 22 - It's always difficult to point out what I feel I do well, but for this I would say I feel pretty balanced with genuineness and positive regard. I think my customer service background helps with this, always thinking how to make the customer happy and do what is right for them. Empathy I can probably work on, not that I don't feel I am empathetic, I just feel I have so much more to learn about other cultures, demographics, age groups, etc., to truly be successful at being empathetic with the student body of a university.
Chapter 23 - I think definitely interpersonal skills are important as I feel this is the building block to be able to have effective problem solving or being able to apply developmental or learning theory. Like I've heard so many times, it's all about the relationships! As far as my advising experience, definitely the interpersonal relationships have played a vital role in working with the committees I help to advise, but I would say problem solving has been huge. With the events my office puts on so many times the students are just stuck in the way "it's always been done" instead of thinking how to improve or change it. We, as an office, have really tried to encourage new ideas to enhance what is already there. And when a problem arises, just coaching them through it so they can come to a decision instead of us just telling them how to do it. It's been a great learning experience for all involved.
I believe I’m a genuine guy. I have a good hope vision for the students in my care and I believe they all have what it takes to excel in what they do. I also try to encouraging them as much as I can when I notice them doing something well. All I really need at work is for someone to tell me that I’m doing just fine and to keep it up, I feel great when I’m noticed. So I try to provide that as much as possible at work for everyone. I’m going to go with the trend and say that under preparedness is something I see a lot of as well. When it is show time and the operation is happening, all kinds of mistakes and oversights come out on the day of that should have been taken care of days ago. I’m trying to teach students how to make an itinerary for themselves so that they can make sure that everything that needs to get done in advance gets done. My favorite Starbucks drink is a Vanilla Bean Frappaccino (I hope I spelled that right). Those are so sweet and delicious!
Well Mark, my coffee experience is based on my mood or need at the time, but my top three choices would have to be 1. Caramel Apple Spice (no whip) 2. Passionfruit Shaken Green Tea Lemonade 3. Peppermint Mocha for the holiday festive season!-all Venti sized.
As for Chapter 22, I agree with Brent that it is hard to pick out a trait you do well, but I think mine would be genuineness. I enjoy working in this profession and with the students. I know why I am here and like many others, you are here to effect positive change in peoples lives. I think that trait is more genuin when you want to use your skills/talents to help others. A trait that I can improve upon is empathy. I sometimes get too wrapped up thinking for myself instead of thinking with someone. I can be stubborn and I have my own opinions, but I need to realize it is crucial to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. To utilize the strengths of the person I working with, and to know that my opinion is not the only one that matters. I am still in the learning role with many things so I have learned to be a little more easy going and open minded throughout this process.
Chapter 20: I have two favorites at Starbucks! I love Mocha Fraps and Caffe Mochas. These drinks give me a good balance of caffeine and sweetness!
Chapter 22: I would like to think that I can identify and practice all three components. I feel my best practice is being genuine or "real" like stated in the book. I feel as if sometimes I can be to "real" and may need to improve on my unconditional positive regard. I feel sometimes I don't take into account everything that may be going on in a student's life, or their understanding of what is going on around them. I have to understand that this is a different generation and not everyone will have my views or values.
Ch 23- I think one of the most important skills when advising and dealing with students is the use of interpersonal skills. It's important for students to feel that they have someone to talk to and who will listen. Building trust is important and will help both you and the student in the future. The group that I advise, I feel we have established a relationship where they feel comfortable and know that they can come talk to me, and be honest and up front, and expect the same from me. It makes it easier to also identify problems or changes in their behavior or personalities. A problem that I run into A LOT is under-preparedness. Part of my assistantship is to help my athletes develop skills that will help them in the future whether in school, their sport, or life in general. What I noticed with the classes after mine, were high populations of students who needed remediation. While also helping students I have noticed many have not been adequately prepared to enter their first year in college. I find this alarming and rising in numbers especially within athletics. Many kids are victims of teachers letting them pass in high school which is ultimately setting them up for failure in college. I find more and more everyday I am teaching students simple skills they should have learned in middle school or high school, such as simple grammar and note taking skills.
I don't do Starbucks at all drink-wise. I don't drink coffee at all either. I think it tastes gross and I'm anti-drugs, which includes caffeine;-) Like the approach this week, way to put learning in context.
I think genuineness is probably THE most important trait you can have in advising and counseling. Students are so good at sniffing out a BS facade and you will loose all credibility and standing with a student if they sense insincerity or posing. Being honest about who you are is the first step in allowing them to be honest about who they are. I'm quite good with the empathy thing--I think we all can be, it's just a matter of practicing relating on different levels to different students. Being a multicultural, multi-talented, multi-challenged, multi-knowledgeable person helps in this vein, that way you have more dimensions on which to connect.
I think I could use work on the unconditional positive regard. I may need to re read it/do more research, but taking it at face value, I don't know if I buy it for being as key to successful advising/connecting. Don't get me wrong, I 100% understand and advocate for "meeting students where they are." You definitely have to get on their level. But I think we can take this accepting too far if we start giving them the impression that we accept what they're bringing to the table as good enough if it isn't. I'm big on challenging my students; the key is to know your students. It varies by student, even day-to-day, but I'll let them know, "I know what you're giving is not your best and I don't appreciate your dishonesty with yourself or me." I accept nothing but their best and neither should they from themselves. **I plan to read it again so I can get the true definition.
Chapter 20 - No thanks on the coffee. I'm jittery enough and just don't like the stuff! I'll take a sweet tea or if the weather is cold, a good-ole hot chocolate. I'd then curl in the corner on a comfy couch with a good book.
Mark, I am sipping a vanilla bean frappuccino with you!
For Aaron's question regarding chapter 22, I believe that an unconditional positive regard is the most important trait. My understanding of counseling implies a certain relationship has been establish to be effective. With that expectation it takes a warm and caring personality to build that relationship properly. One of the quotes that stands out is, "To pretend acceptance interferes with the helping relationship and destroys genuineness." Without this unconditional positive regard, none of the others are possible (which can be argued inversely for the other points).
I felt in my undergraduate involvement that I had already developed a knack for problem solving, which probably led to my involvement with unions and operations. So for me, the most influential of the skills has been the development of interpersonal skills. I believe in the last year I have really begun to speak and interact a little more clearly and hopefully the students that I advise have seen that as well.
Chapter 22 - I also believe unconditional positive regard is my strongest trait. I'm a helpful am emphatic person and I often find myself filling the role described in the text as the helper who doesn't judge. The area I could probably improve would be genuineness because I'm like to please people and while not "fake", I might sometimes conceal how I feel about things (except for water bottles of course).
Chapter 23 - I think listening is vital in advising and I would consider myself a good listener. I've heard over and over again that sometimes students just need somebody to talk to and I think a good listener helps them get things off their chest and also allows them to reach their own conclusions and ideas by using the advisor a reflector of their ideas whether than a person who is going to "tell them how it's done" and prescribe a stringent regiment.
MY ULTIMATE FAVORITE COFFE BEVERAGE IS.....CARAMEL FRAPPICCINO! Since I was about 12 years old its been my favorite. I get the largest size with extra caramel. I must admit that I grab one when ever I am under a lot of stress. They are very unhealth so I have to limit myself to one a month. For me the month of October has been a busy one and I had to have two this month. Its so funny to me, this time last year I told one of my co-workers that I wouldnt resort to coffe when I get in graduate school...boy was I wrong!
Chapter 20 examines leadership from a historical and technical perspective. It is helpful to understand the transitions of leadership in the context of a paradigm. The transitions of leadership theory paradigm have all been unique to our society, throughout the generations. We are fortunate to be entering a career field which utilizes the collaborate paradigm. This means that we can apply the principles of leadership in creative ways. We have all been very busy this semester, and we could really use a coffee break. So I am going to be bold and lead us in a collaborative discussion to relax and interact. We all must admit that we have a favorite beverage at Starbucks, for this blog let’s share this with each other. I will start the discussion by telling you that I order hot green tea every day. Trust me, when I fall asleep at the library reading, I resort to coffee.
ReplyDeletePlease allow me to lead us in a collaborative discussion, and share your favorite Starbucks creation. I invite you to join me in a virtual coffee social!
What's up party people?! Chapter 22 is right up our alley. It is all about counseling students and being a "helper". It covers what traits are necessary for someone to be a helping individual and assist the student(helpee) with their issue. Rogers on pg.486 identifies 3 main components of a helping professionals which he deemed extremely important: Genuineness, unconditional positive regard (acceptance) and accurate empathatic understanding. Please identify which trait you feel is a strength and possibly which one you may to need to improve. Also, if you want to share an experience working with a student in which you made use of these traits that would be awesome!
ReplyDeleteMark, I am not a huge coffee drinker, usually prefer diet coke. But when I do hit starbucks I get a grande coffee with vanilla cream and a lil sugar.
ReplyDeleteTo answer my own question I feel like i have developed in all three areas and have strengths in each. Working with students through the admissions process requires one to utilize these compnents all the time with a wide variety of situations such as admitted students or a student who may be falling short or is denied. I have always prided myself on being "real" as the book says. If you shoot people straight and don't have any angles, you will see much more response and openness from the student.
I love it Mark! I am addicted to coffee and despite my Dunkin’ Donuts cup I am frequently seen with, I never have that brand of coffee in there. I prefer Starbucks. I have actually cut back in the past year because it drains my bank account, but I will give you my top drinks of choice.
ReplyDelete1. Grande Iced Green Tea Soy Latte
2. Grande Iced Café Americano (no room)
3. Grande Iced Carmel Macchiato
And for the season I enjoy a nice Pumpkin Spice Latte. ☺
Chapter 22:
ReplyDeleteSo I’ve been thinking about which of the traits is my strength and which I feel I need to improve on, but I feel as though they all go hand in hand. I would like to believe I excel in all three, so I am going to try and rank them. I would say most of all I am genuine and have empathetic understanding, shortly followed by an unconditional positive regard. I care for everyone I am trying to help and put his or her needs first. The person being helped needs to feel comfortable with you in order to make any progress.
Chapter 20: Hmmm, I think my favorite Starbucks drink is a hot Chai Tea Latte because it tastes great and gives me energy to be a leader (well, sometimes)!
ReplyDeleteChapter 22: The counseling and advising chapters could not have come at a more perfect time. Many of the students I advise have recently started opening up more and coming in to talk about various problems they're having. While talking to them, I am constantly questioning whether or not I'm telling them the right thing, if my biases are influencing what I'm saying to them, etc. The readings helped clarify what I'm doing right and gave some suggestions as to what else I can do to help them.
To answer Aaron's question, I would say I am definitely genuine. I truly care about students and believe each of them has the abilities and strength necessary to be successful. I try my best for that to come across in our discussions. The one I may struggle with a bit is accurate empathic understanding. Many of my students come from vastly different backgrounds than myself so it's just taking a little bit longer for me to get to know their history and navigate that based on my knowledge and experiences. With time, I know I'll get there though.
Chapter 23 is about advising and consultation and Patrick Love identifies skills and competencies of advising as well as some issues in advising. Advising students is something with which almost all of us have experience, and if not we've all likely been in an organization that was advised by someone. Drawing on these experiences, which skill or competency have you found to be the most important when advising students? In addition, which issue (or issues) has been the most central in your advising experience and how did you work with that issue? You're all amazing, I'm excited to hear your answers!
ReplyDelete1. My favorite drink at Starbucks is a sweetened passion tea lemonade or white mocha, but I'll usually get a iced hazelnut coffee with milk (Justin-I also feel the financial pain of Starbucks addictions).
ReplyDelete2. Right now, I think that empathetic understanding is a weakness of mine that I need to develop. USF is so diverse, that many students' backgrounds are unfamiliar or different to me, but as time goes on, I am becoming more exposed to different sides of USF (even after 4 years).
3. The issue in advising that I see most often is unpreparedness, but more broadly defined than by Love. The students I work with are generally highly motivated, have good GPAs & have a broad understanding of their next step after USF. For these reasons, they come to ONS to find out how to apply for scholarships & awards. However, I feel that after they come to our office, they start to feel unprepared because their credentials are the standard for these awards and not the exception. One of the biggest issues I have encountered is that students are unprepared for life after graduation. They have a vague idea but do not know more specifically what they want to study, what career goals they want, etc. This unpreparedness is detrimental for their award applications because they are often being judged on what they anticipate being in 5, 10, 15 years, not on what they are accomplishing right now.
1) Mark, I love a good chai tea latte (hot or cold depending on the weather outside).
ReplyDelete2) I think I have a nack for unconditional positive regard. I try to find the positives in every situation and use that as I meet with the students I advise. Many people come to the TRAC office with bad experiences where they didn't get accepted into a selective major or have been asked to fins a new major after not meeting GPA requirements. I try to help students see this as a positive thing, a way to redirect your studies before you are in over your head. By being positive about this with them, it can help ease the tension and make the student realize that there are other options out there.
3. One of the biggest skills I utilize with the students I advise is problem solving. With the same student populaton I mentioned above, I need to help students solve their problem of which new major is best for them. This means, working with the student to realize end goals, strengths and interests, and referring students to places like the career center.
One of the bigger challenges is that students are underprepared. A lot of times these students face the problem of switching a major because they were underprepared in certain classes or previous education. The sad thing is that many students will aslo admit the underpreparedness was something they could have worked harder at - sought out tutoring or talked with the profesor, etc. They can't go back and change things now that it is over and so they have to deal with those consequences.
Ch. 20: Mmmm, coffee. I actually DO prefer Dunkin Doughnuts (Justin! :D) and I usually get an Iced Coconut Latte, SO GOOD. I’d like to implement a page out of Greenleaf’s book, “The Servant as Leader,” by leading by persuasion, rather than coercion. So, I’m not gonna force you try DD, but here are some of my arguments (that will, all the while, “create opportunities and alternatives” for you):
ReplyDeleteWhy DD is Superior to Starbucks:
-The DD establishment offers more flavor options
-The DD establishment won’t break the bank
-The DD establishment frequently offers free/discounts on many items
-The DD establishment has items that are SPRINKLED.
-“AMERICA runs on Dunkin.”
Need I say more? Ah, but to hold true to the essence of the servant leader, I must recognize that the first step to changing the world is to change oneself—so, I suppose Starbuck’s Passion Iced Teas are excellentee, too :)
Ch. 21: Rogers’ 3 personal characteristics can probably be summed up into the modern notion of “judging”. No one likes to feel that they are being judged, and hopefully no one takes personal pride in being known for judging others. Ultimately, to help others, Roger’s conditions suggest that helpers should be careful not to impose their values or communicate disrespect or disapproval of the helpee’s values. I like to work hard to instill that sense of comfort in my students that no one is wrong for feeling or believing a certain way, so all three characteristics come into play. These points should be kept in mind, not just in our profession, but in extension, to the way we conduct ourselves in our daily lives with others.
Ch.22: In my advising experience, I have found that one of the central issues I face is “Problem Identification”. Often, as a problem surfaces, a student will not admit, either intentionally or unintentionally, to the root of the problem. Some detective work alongside trust-building will usually expose the real source of a problem, such as trouble with time management, high expectations, or unclear responsibilities.
1. I refuse to use Starbucks lingo so this is usually my order:
ReplyDelete"Gimme one of those large-sized white chocolate drinks, with some ice"
Great question, love it Mark.
2. Like Aaron, I'd say that I have certain qualities in each of Rogers' characteristics that I would consider strengths, but I certainly have a clear rank for the characteristics. My greatest strength is genuineness. I have a few simple rules in life, one of which is what I like to call, keeping it real. I ask for honesty and truth in all that I do - from friends, family, colleagues, etc. - and I give the same expectation to those around me.
I could probably use a little work in accurate empathic understanding. This type of understanding comes from truly listening and trying to visualize what a person is sharing with you. While I've had some professional development experiences to help me grow in this regard, it is something that I need to continue to practices.
Chapter 20:
ReplyDeleteI seldom go to Starbucks because I am not one to drink coffee or drink any type of espresso. However, last week during our midterms was the first time I ever had coffee of any sort because of how tired I was from staying up late studying. I got some basic coffee from Starbucks, which kept me up and allowed me to continue to study throughout those late nights.
Chapter 21:
The trait that I feel is my strength is my genuineness. I say this because I truly care about students and their needs. I like to be as transparent as possible and be as realistic as I can to students. I feel that me being this way allows students to feel more comfortable and open to advice. One of the traits in which I feel I need to improve upon is having an accurate empathic understanding of others. I say this because I am still learning about people and their diverse backgrounds. The more experience I gain in this field will allow me to understand and cope with all types of students.
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ReplyDeleteOh, Mark! I love your approach. Too bad I'm not an avid Starbucks customer :/ However, if I did go often, I would get some form of a hot tea with a danish or cookie...whatever I'm in the mood for.
ReplyDeleteAaron, your opening line for your discussion comment got me excited to write these responses. Anyways, in reference to the components of the helping relationship, my strongest area is in genuineness. When I've helped people get through a project, assignment or tough time, there have been many instances where people have thanked me for helping them get through it which speaks volumes to me. Those are the moments that tell me people know I'm genuine when I help. I truly give all that I have when I help people.
As I continue to get to know people at a deeper level, my skill in empathy will hopefully grow. In order to understand people, you have to know them. It takes time for that process to happen as it does for a lifetime. We're always learning something new about a person we know. In order to be an effective helper, you have to know how to help them which means "getting to know their style."
Caitlin, these are some heavy hitters :) With advising students, you need strong interpersonal skills. They need to know that you are interested and invested in them and that you can serve as a resource for them. Also, in practicing these skills, the hope could be that it rubs off on the students as well. It can help them get that new position or even lead another organization as well.
One issue that I have dealt with a lot within advising is the unpreparedness. There was one student that I advised who was not completing the tasks that needed to complete. It all came to poor scheduling on the student's end and the little preparation the student did beforehand. The habits didn't break, and it led to some tough calls which affected the student's involvement in the office. Though I tried to help the student schedule their week time after time, the message was not seeping through. I quickly learned that instances like those call for a reality check to happen.
I love Starbucks and actually have my favorite drink right next to me a White iced mocha!!
ReplyDeleteFor Aaron's question I would have to agree 100% with Adrea's response, I am genuine, I really do care. Also like Andrea and Emily stated I may struggle with empathic understanding due to the vast backgrounds that come onto college campuses.
When I do splurge on a drink from Starbucks, it is more often than not on a chai tea latte.
ReplyDeleteI think interpersonal skills are the most important in any type of advising. Placing active listening, questioning, and referral skills in this category seems essential. I feel that a balance of the three would produce the most beneficial and successful sessions. An advisor needs not only to actively listen to the student(s), but also know the next steps to take. Having one without the other seems impersonal. I remember meeting a very knowledgeable advisor in undergrad but still feeling confused afterward because the active listening component was missing.
I’ll also have to admit that I fell victim to the example mentioned in the text regarding group motivation. It took some time to realize that my group was not at my level of motivation, or really, motivated at all. I quickly had to assess the situation and place more guidelines on the group, which has improved the way they approach their position.
Ohhh Starbucks! I could really go for a Grande nonfat caramel latte with two shots of espresso. Well…maybe not right now, but definitely when I get to work tomorrow. But that’s really complicated to order so I’ll keep making my coffee at home ;-)
ReplyDeleteI'd actually say one of my biggest flaws is just wanting to be a "helper" I get frustrated when I can't help fix a problem, especially if it means more work for one of the students I work with. As far as the three traits listed in the book... I think genuineness is both something I do well and something I need to work on. I am honest to a fault and I will typically tell it exactly like it is. I need to work on turning that off a little bit and utilizing that unconditional positive regard quality, especially when my students make decisions I don’t agree with. I hope I’m good at the empathetic understanding. I think I use that one most often. I put out a lot of student government related fires at work, but I also hear a lot of “ugghh that test! I think I made a stupid mistake” and “I’ll get to it…I just have two exams this week and I don’t think they’re going to be easy” and I hope that the students I work with feel like I understand when they’re worried about those kinds of things.
20. Mark, you're cool. I'm not a Starbucks customer and I rarely drink coffee so if you see me with coffee it’s been a rough day! If I got coffee it would be a caramel latte with ice.
ReplyDelete22. I have experienced each component of helping but I identify most with genuineness. For an example, showing support for my RAs outside of the walls of housing. Whether it be attending one of their rugby games or productions in the theatre. I want them to know that I care about their personal development within and outside of their jobs. Being emphatic is something I’m good at, however is something I can improve on. There are certain situations where you get to know a student on a long term basis so you understand their thought process over time. Then there crisis situations where a student needs assistance immediately. I think listening and being in tune with everything that is happening, even if it is happening quickly can make all the difference in the way I respond.
23. I also find unpreparedness to be a prominent issue with the students I work with. Last week during a one on a one, a student said “my high school prepared me to get to college, but not to succeed in college.” We had a long discussion about that and personal responsibility. There seems to be a trend of changing majors numerous times (which may not be uncommon) it just may seem excessive to me because I’m not used to that. Also, only having one option verses having an alternative plan for the future i.e. the Navy or applying to one graduate school. My RAs had to write down short term and long term goals, with bullet points of how and what they needed to do to reach them. I’ve noticed that things like having them submit and updating their resumes have motivated them. Many of the things that have to do with them individually has motivated them…I'm still learning the culture here. With RAs and students in general who decide to come to USF. So I think it's a continuous process of continuing to ask students what they're passionate about, what we can do as supervisors or advisors to assist.
Chapter 20: I enjoy a hot vanilla chai tea latte from Starbucks, but haven’t been able to enjoy a cup recently. I believe this calls for a Starbucks run. Thank you Mark!
ReplyDeleteChapter 22: The trait I excel in is unconditional positive regard, showing the student or family member I am working with that I care and respect them. I realize that I am not perfect in any of these traits and will continually practice them to become a better helper.
Chapter 23: Problem solving skills are frequently put to use in the financial aid office, so are interpersonal skills. I use a combination of the two to understand the full picture of what the student or family member is asking. Like many others have mentioned, underpreparedness is an issue I see with students. Many of the students who come into our office have not read the emails sent by our office or checked OASIS for the status of their financial aid. We work with these students to educate them on the resources available to them and the importance of reading the information sent to them.
1. I actually do not drink coffee or soda. I am not sure if that makes me weird or not but it is true. I drink a lot of water and Gatorade. I’m also a sucker for chocolate milk.
ReplyDelete2. The trait that is my strongest is “genuineness.” I say this because it really is who I am. With genuineness comes a sense of authenticity, realness, and substance. I like to think when people do business with me or interact with me that is what I bring to the table. I try my best to do this because I enjoy it when people are genuine with me and that builds better relationships with people.
I know I have to make improvements on “accurate empathetic understanding.” I do not say this because I am not accepting of people, but because it is one of the traits where I do not think it can be mastered or practiced. It is just opening up and realizing that not everybody will always be on the same page or agree with everything.
3. An advising issue I see a lot is “problem identification.” In Outdoor Recreation we do a lot of work with people and we have to do a lot of setting up before customers get there. This could be with a ropes course or fixing bikes. One thing I notice my staff has a tendency of doing is playing the blame game. Since there is so many of them they tend to blame each other for something going wrong or not doing something. It also does not help that there is so many of them because stories have gotten out of context and people will almost say anything to get themselves out of a situation, especially if the other person is not there to defend them self. I am right now just working with them to work on their maturity and start growing up and taking on responsibilities and following through with them.
Chance Wilson
ReplyDeleteI think have a well-developed sense of empathy. I oftentimes try to place myself in someone else’s shoes. This goes beyond just tolerating people. I try to see things from their perspective. To be honest this isn’t always out of a sense of kindness, though oftentimes it is. I believe that one can learn a lot from oneself, but more importantly one can learn a lot from others as well. When a person is willing to be empathetic not only does he or she help others by trying to understand them, but that individual helps themselves by broadening their horizons.
All in all I think I have a genuine regard for of all these character traits. I suppose I could have some more unconditional positive regard because I can see aspects of life in their negative sense quite easily.
Mark, I feel like you may have stumped me on this one. I do not drink coffee at all, although I have been forced into going to Starbucks quite often. On the occasions of these treks I end up with a sparkling water and some type of sweet treat (the treat varies by mood, availability and product placement). I can verify that the pumpkin spice version smells great in spite of its foul taste.
ReplyDeleteFor chapter 22, I work hard to make sure that all of these three areas are strengths. I’ve spent years as a counselor and agree that genuineness (strange sounding word), understanding and empathy are critical to counseling success. I also know that I still need to improve all of these areas. I know that I don’t have all the answers, but I do have the willingness to keep honing my craft and working toward unattainable perfection.
For an advising skill, problem identification is crucial. The surface problem is often not the one that is causing the most problems. We need to be aware of underlying issues and needs. I have been guilty of leaping at the quick solution when helping address issues. I am still trying to get past the first issue and making sure that I see the big picture for each student. Unpreparedness, as so many others mentioned is also a recurring theme. In financial aid, it usually presents itself as procrastination by the student. Problems that we could have resolved months earlier become crisis when the students have not sought help in a timely fashion.
Hey All,
ReplyDeleteI do like coffee but I don’t drink it very often but when I do I usually just drink black coffee with sugar. I don’t drink coffee from Starbucks but I always get a grande caramel cream frapp. It has no coffee (cream base). I kind of made it up like four years ago and I have been getting it ever since.
The traits that are necessary for someone to be a helping individual and in assisting students that I most identify with is unconditional positive regard. Basically, I genuinely care about my students regardless of whether or not I approve of their actions; I always approve of them. I always see potential for great success in all of my students. I advise them about what they should and shouldn’t do about specific issues and although sometimes they don’t listen, I must be supportive and always accept them as the individuals they are and just hope that they learn from their mistakes.
1. Even though starbucks is very overpriced I do splurge on it every once in awhile, but like Monica said it has to be a rough day for me. I like iced chai lattes on hot days, which is pretty much year round in Florida. Then I like skinny hazelnut lattes on cold days. Thanks Mark for this question! :)
ReplyDelete2. Like most people in our class, I feel like I try to do a good job on all of these traits. I would probably need to improve on unconditional positive regard. With my sports and coaching background, I feel like it is embedded in me to only give compliments and positive regard when a person does something great. Then give constructive criticism or let a person make some mistakes without me always complimenting them and patting them on the back.
3. I think it is important to have interpersonal and problem solving skills like the book states. I also think it is important to be caring, a good listener, empathetic, etc. I haven't had enough advising roles to actually apply developmental and learning theory yet, so I don't find that to be as important, which might lead to issues.
Chapter 20: Mark, Starbucks is right up my ally! I am obviously drinking it right now, iced venti sugar free hazelnut with soy milk
ReplyDeleteChapter 22: I think that empathic understanding is one of the most important traits while advising students. It is important to not make them feel comfortable so that they open up to you with their issues and that you can provide them as much guidance and knowledge as possible. It is definitely a strength of mine to listen to others problems and understand that they have issues, but I can always work on understanding better. I feel like in our heads we all judge them and when a student has a minute issue, that they think is the end of the world we think “is this student really going through this right now” empathic understanding and having the ability to show the students we really understand and care about them, and are not judging them in anyway shows a great skill in advising and letting them open up to you.
Chapter 23: I think one of the most important skills in advising students is to give them the tools to succeed on their own, and to not do everything for them. If students do not figure things out on their own, and make small mistakes then they will never learn. If we do everything for them they will never grow educationally, or professionally. It is important to know the difference between helping them to make the right decisions, and making the decisions for them. None of us want to see our students fail, but we also want to see them succeed on their own.
Chapter 20 - My Starbucks habit has drastically been cut since it's no longer part of an expense account...but I do enjoy a Chai Tea Latte (hot) and a Black Iced Tea Lemonade Sweetened with lite ice (actually drinking that as I type at Starbucks right now!) Great question, nice spin to the discussion!
ReplyDeleteChapter 22 - It's always difficult to point out what I feel I do well, but for this I would say I feel pretty balanced with genuineness and positive regard. I think my customer service background helps with this, always thinking how to make the customer happy and do what is right for them. Empathy I can probably work on, not that I don't feel I am empathetic, I just feel I have so much more to learn about other cultures, demographics, age groups, etc., to truly be successful at being empathetic with the student body of a university.
Chapter 23 - I think definitely interpersonal skills are important as I feel this is the building block to be able to have effective problem solving or being able to apply developmental or learning theory. Like I've heard so many times, it's all about the relationships! As far as my advising experience, definitely the interpersonal relationships have played a vital role in working with the committees I help to advise, but I would say problem solving has been huge. With the events my office puts on so many times the students are just stuck in the way "it's always been done" instead of thinking how to improve or change it. We, as an office, have really tried to encourage new ideas to enhance what is already there. And when a problem arises, just coaching them through it so they can come to a decision instead of us just telling them how to do it. It's been a great learning experience for all involved.
I believe I’m a genuine guy. I have a good hope vision for the students in my care and I believe they all have what it takes to excel in what they do. I also try to encouraging them as much as I can when I notice them doing something well. All I really need at work is for someone to tell me that I’m doing just fine and to keep it up, I feel great when I’m noticed. So I try to provide that as much as possible at work for everyone.
ReplyDeleteI’m going to go with the trend and say that under preparedness is something I see a lot of as well. When it is show time and the operation is happening, all kinds of mistakes and oversights come out on the day of that should have been taken care of days ago. I’m trying to teach students how to make an itinerary for themselves so that they can make sure that everything that needs to get done in advance gets done.
My favorite Starbucks drink is a Vanilla Bean Frappaccino (I hope I spelled that right). Those are so sweet and delicious!
Well Mark, my coffee experience is based on my mood or need at the time, but my top three choices would have to be 1. Caramel Apple Spice (no whip) 2. Passionfruit Shaken Green Tea Lemonade 3. Peppermint Mocha for the holiday festive season!-all Venti sized.
ReplyDeleteAs for Chapter 22, I agree with Brent that it is hard to pick out a trait you do well, but I think mine would be genuineness. I enjoy working in this profession and with the students. I know why I am here and like many others, you are here to effect positive change in peoples lives. I think that trait is more genuin when you want to use your skills/talents to help others. A trait that I can improve upon is empathy. I sometimes get too wrapped up thinking for myself instead of thinking with someone. I can be stubborn and I have my own opinions, but I need to realize it is crucial to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. To utilize the strengths of the person I working with, and to know that my opinion is not the only one that matters. I am still in the learning role with many things so I have learned to be a little more easy going and open minded throughout this process.
Chapter 20: I have two favorites at Starbucks! I love Mocha Fraps and Caffe Mochas. These drinks give me a good balance of caffeine and sweetness!
ReplyDeleteChapter 22: I would like to think that I can identify and practice all three components. I feel my best practice is being genuine or "real" like stated in the book. I feel as if sometimes I can be to "real" and may need to improve on my unconditional positive regard. I feel sometimes I don't take into account everything that may be going on in a student's life, or their understanding of what is going on around them. I have to understand that this is a different generation and not everyone will have my views or values.
Ch 23- I think one of the most important skills when advising and dealing with students is the use of interpersonal skills. It's important for students to feel that they have someone to talk to and who will listen. Building trust is important and will help both you and the student in the future. The group that I advise, I feel we have established a relationship where they feel comfortable and know that they can come talk to me, and be honest and up front, and expect the same from me. It makes it easier to also identify problems or changes in their behavior or personalities.
A problem that I run into A LOT is under-preparedness. Part of my assistantship is to help my athletes develop skills that will help them in the future whether in school, their sport, or life in general. What I noticed with the classes after mine, were high populations of students who needed remediation. While also helping students I have noticed many have not been adequately prepared to enter their first year in college. I find this alarming and rising in numbers especially within athletics. Many kids are victims of teachers letting them pass in high school which is ultimately setting them up for failure in college. I find more and more everyday I am teaching students simple skills they should have learned in middle school or high school, such as simple grammar and note taking skills.
I don't do Starbucks at all drink-wise. I don't drink coffee at all either. I think it tastes gross and I'm anti-drugs, which includes caffeine;-) Like the approach this week, way to put learning in context.
ReplyDeleteI think genuineness is probably THE most important trait you can have in advising and counseling. Students are so good at sniffing out a BS facade and you will loose all credibility and standing with a student if they sense insincerity or posing. Being honest about who you are is the first step in allowing them to be honest about who they are. I'm quite good with the empathy thing--I think we all can be, it's just a matter of practicing relating on different levels to different students. Being a multicultural, multi-talented, multi-challenged, multi-knowledgeable person helps in this vein, that way you have more dimensions on which to connect.
I think I could use work on the unconditional positive regard. I may need to re read it/do more research, but taking it at face value, I don't know if I buy it for being as key to successful advising/connecting. Don't get me wrong, I 100% understand and advocate for "meeting students where they are." You definitely have to get on their level. But I think we can take this accepting too far if we start giving them the impression that we accept what they're bringing to the table as good enough if it isn't. I'm big on challenging my students; the key is to know your students. It varies by student, even day-to-day, but I'll let them know, "I know what you're giving is not your best and I don't appreciate your dishonesty with yourself or me." I accept nothing but their best and neither should they from themselves. **I plan to read it again so I can get the true definition.
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ReplyDeleteChapter 20 - No thanks on the coffee. I'm jittery enough and just don't like the stuff! I'll take a sweet tea or if the weather is cold, a good-ole hot chocolate. I'd then curl in the corner on a comfy couch with a good book.
ReplyDeleteMark, I am sipping a vanilla bean frappuccino with you!
ReplyDeleteFor Aaron's question regarding chapter 22, I believe that an unconditional positive regard is the most important trait. My understanding of counseling implies a certain relationship has been establish to be effective. With that expectation it takes a warm and caring personality to build that relationship properly. One of the quotes that stands out is, "To pretend acceptance interferes with the helping relationship and destroys genuineness." Without this unconditional positive regard, none of the others are possible (which can be argued inversely for the other points).
I felt in my undergraduate involvement that I had already developed a knack for problem solving, which probably led to my involvement with unions and operations. So for me, the most influential of the skills has been the development of interpersonal skills. I believe in the last year I have really begun to speak and interact a little more clearly and hopefully the students that I advise have seen that as well.
Chapter 22 - I also believe unconditional positive regard is my strongest trait. I'm a helpful am emphatic person and I often find myself filling the role described in the text as the helper who doesn't judge. The area I could probably improve would be genuineness because I'm like to please people and while not "fake", I might sometimes conceal how I feel about things (except for water bottles of course).
ReplyDeleteChapter 23 - I think listening is vital in advising and I would consider myself a good listener. I've heard over and over again that sometimes students just need somebody to talk to and I think a good listener helps them get things off their chest and also allows them to reach their own conclusions and ideas by using the advisor a reflector of their ideas whether than a person who is going to "tell them how it's done" and prescribe a stringent regiment.
ReplyDeleteMY ULTIMATE FAVORITE COFFE BEVERAGE IS.....CARAMEL FRAPPICCINO! Since I was about 12 years old its been my favorite. I get the largest size with extra caramel. I must admit that I grab one when ever I am under a lot of stress. They are very unhealth so I have to limit myself to one a month. For me the month of October has been a busy one and I had to have two this month. Its so funny to me, this time last year I told one of my co-workers that I wouldnt resort to coffe when I get in graduate school...boy was I wrong!
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